A few moments

Moment #1

I have Whitney signed up for a tumbling class once a week for the summer. This class is held in someone's basement. The lady has a cute little innocent dog. Well, if you know Whitney at all, she is terrified of dogs. I don't think terrified is even a strong enough word to describe Whitney's feelings towards pretty much all animals.

We have been going to tumbling for a month now. I have had to literally drag Whitney from the car to get her to go inside. Once inside, the lady says, "Hi, Whitney, I'll go put the dog away." She then promptly puts the dog away. This doesn't really matter to Whitney because she knows it is there. By the time she is done with class she has had a good time and seems to get over the dog factor.

This past Wednesday I made a very big mistake. I was trying to gear her up for the fact that the dog was nice, he won't hurt you, you'll be fine. Well this pretty much sent her into a panic attack. She has very high anxiety about stuff. I was trying the best I could to reassure her that everything was going to be ok, that dogs were nice. I would say things like : "If dogs weren't nice, do you think people would let them in their houses? You don't see people with alligators in their houses. Why is that? Did you know that a lot of people let their dogs sleep in their beds with them. Do you think they would let something dangerous sleep in their beds? Are all the people that crazy who have dogs?" I sat her down looked her in the eye and said "Whitney, I would not let you go to tumbling if I thought you were in danger. I will protect you and I will do everything in my power to keep you safe. You are not in danger by being at tumbling with a dog." None of this worked. I told her she didn't need to pet the dog. She didn't need to go over to the dog. But she did need to not scream and cry and be so afraid of the dog.

Whitney was insisting that she was not going to go. Tears streaming down her face saying "I won't go, I'm not going." After about 30 minutes of this I finally said, "Whitney, how about we say a prayer." I then offered a pleading prayer to our Heavenly Father to help my daughter to be able to relax and not have such great fear. I gave her lots of hugs and then we went outside to wait for my neighbor who was driving to pick her up. Nothing seemed to change, she was still in tears as I loaded her in the car and I said to my friend, if you need to bring her back, it's ok. I walked back into the house feeling like the worst mother in the world. How could I force my daughter to go when I knew that she would be scared. Was it that important of a lesson for her to learn? Could she learn this on her own some other way. Should I just let her quit like she wanted?

My friend called me after she dropped her off to reassure me that she was ok, and that she calmed down on the way to class. She had talked about other things and seemed to distract her.

When I picked her up I expected her to be mad at me. I expected the worst, that she cried the whole time or something. But instead, she came bouncing out of class with a grin from ear to ear. She excitedly exclaimed that she wasn't afraid of Norman (the dog) anymore. She had actually petted him, twice. Once while the teacher was holding him and once while it was on the floor. At home I sat down with her and helped her see that this was an answer to our prayers. That Heavenly Father gave her the strength she needed to not be afraid, that he loves her and wants her to be happy. Whitney told everyone that she saw that she had petted the dog. I don't think anyone really understood what that meant.

Moment #2

My girls like to have a glass of water with them when they go to bed at night. It is a constant battle to get them to bring the cups back into the kitchen the next day. Cassidy has been fabulous lately. Every morning she has it with her when she comes upstairs. Lindsey will sometimes bring it later on, but Whitney seldom does. So, my new rule is that they can't have a new water if their old water is still in their room. When I brought down their waters last night, Lindsey and Whitney both had theirs still. I gave them a chance to run it upstairs before I took the new ones away. Whit wasn't happy to do it, but she took it upstairs anyway, shaking it all over the stairs on the way pouring water all over the carpet. I realize this later as I am heading back upstairs after tucking them into bed. I turn around go into Whitney's room and take the new water away and tell her that if she can't respect our house, she can't have water in her room anymore. (You can safely assume I didn't calmly or quietly say this.) She bursts into tears and can't imagine going to sleep without water. Cassidy asks why Whitney is screaming and I explain that Whitney poured water all over the stairs so I took her water away. I then go upstairs. Aaron and Cassidy come up a few minutes later to tell me that Cassidy, without any promptings, got her water, went into Whitney's room and said, "Here Whitney, you can have my water, I don't drink it much at night anyway."