Russell K. Roberts

Exactly one week after the reservoir, I got the news that would change my life.

My mom had taken my dad to the Riverton Hospital Emergency Room the night before. She was hoping that they could give him some pain medication to help ease the intense pain that he was in. A CT scan found that his cancer had spread to his kidney's and they transferred him to IMC in Murray to be admitted. The next morning the doctor came in and told my mom and sister that my dad only had a few days to live. Thank goodness Heidi had gotten there before the doctor came in so that my mom was not alone. We were not prepared for this news. We knew the cancer had been spreading, we knew that there was no cure, but there had never been any talk of how long he had left. To suddenly have only a few days was heart breaking. I spend the first night with my mom at the hospital. She had been awake the entire night before in the ER and was exhausted. It was a very long night. My dad would wake up every 10-15 minutes and want to sit up. He couldn't do this on his own, so I would have to lift him into sitting position. Then he would want to stand up. I would lift him up and hold him there for a few minutes until he was ready to sit back down. Then I would help him to lay down again and he would be instantly asleep. He would wake up 15 minutes later and we would repeat the same pattern. This went on all night long. We later learned that this was caused by anxiety. They were able to give him some anxiety medication so this didn't occur again. Even though it was a really hard night for me. I would do it again in a heart beat. It was like getting a giant hug from my dad every 15 minutes, all night long. It was such a blessing to be able to serve him.

We all spent most of our time at the hospital. He was still awake and alert. Joking around with the nurses and everyone that came in to see him. He didn't seem like a man who was dying. I was in denial big time. It was an easier emotion to deal with. We were able to bring him home from the hospital with hospice on Sunday, August 14th.

This was Aaron and my 14th anniversary. Just a side track here. Back in July, Aaron and I were planning a trip for our anniversary. We had it all planned out. We were going to Portland, OR. We had babysitting figured out, we knew places that we wanted to visit, what hotel we were going to stay at, and what flight we were going to take. For some reason we kept forgetting to book the flight & hotel. Then we finally sat down to do it, we just didn't feel right about going on this trip. We couldn't figure out why, but we decided not to go. Now I know why.

At home we started taking shifts to stay with my mom and dad. I was at there house everyday for the next three weeks. My kids would come and hang out in the basement while I helped my mom. My dad would have good days and bad. He slept about 23 hours a day. When he was awake, he would want to get up and go to the bathroom. It took two of us to get him up and in there. For a while he was still able to go sit in his recliner. When he was awake he would joke around with anyone that was there.

On Wednesday, my mom was going through the ads. She was talking about the Article Circle ad. They had Huckleberry Shakes. My dad, who we thought was asleep, said he wanted a Ranch Burger. He really hadn't been eating much for so long, that we were surprised. We suggested a few other things that were closer, like a Whopper or a burger from Wendy's. But no, he wanted a Ranch Burger. So, Heidi and I went and got him a Ranch Burger. He ate about 1/4 of the burger and a few fries. I asked him if it was everything he had hoped for, he said it sounded a lot better than it tasted. I think this was the last meal that he really ate. He tried a little food the next day, but started throwing up after a few bites. He completely stopped eating on Friday, the 19th.

We had many spiritual experiences the last few days of my dad's life. The veil is very thin and I know that his family was there to bring him home. My mom, Heidi, Jeremy and I were all there with him the day he past away. He was unresponsive the entire day so we knew the end was near. The last few minutes of his life were very difficult to watch. He was in so much pain and fighting with all he had to stay with us. We were all in tears, begging him to stop fighting. I started to pray. I prayed with all my might that God would take him home and end the suffering. After I finished my prayer my dad's breathing began to slow. He past away at 11:30pm on Monday, August 29, 2011.

We held his funeral on Friday, September 2, 2011. We kept his funeral short and sweet. Just like he would want it. I am going to post my talk after this. The week before the funeral was so busy trying to get everything ready that it doesn't give you much time to grieve. I've found that grieving takes time. It seems to be getting harder and harder as each day passes. I miss my dad more that words can say. Everything around me reminds me of my dad and that he is no longer on this earth with us.

During the viewing they had a video of pictures of my dad playing. Every time I saw this picture it just felt like my dad was over in the corner reading his paper. This picture reminds me so much of him.